Reposting "Friday the 13th and Confetti"

Friday the 13th is so rare that it isn't any different than any other days. Work didn't seem so different other than my workaholic boss not being there. Emails and voicemails were still waiting for me, coffeepots were still all empty, and the bathroom still reeked of someone's bad dinner from the previous night and yep, skidmarks and all the works. GROOOSSSS! Ok, I get there early enough that the company does not even officially open for another hour, the parking lot is still practically deserted and about 95 percent of the building's lights are still out. And yet, someone just always manages to get to work and stink up the place with assbombs and confetti! Come on! Drop the kids in the pool at home before leaving!!! Oh and the skidmarks! It only takes a second to flush a second time, utilize the shiny silver handle! There is nothing worse than walking into a stall and finding the toilet showing off very artistic remnants and swirls. Take it from a pregnant woman who uses the restroom at least once every 20 minutes - always, always go to the very first stall where your feet are most visible to the outside, chances are bigger that fewer assbombers visit there. And definitely avoid the stall with the handicap sign (since it's bigger, it's usually last and in the corner) and the middle stall -- that's where swirls, remnants and confetti are most popular and if you're lucky you'd even find J and I floaters. And if you're really, really lucky, you'd walk out of the restroom and bump into someone entering, and then giving you "the look." As much as you'd like to say it wasn't you, you'd put your head down, quietly walk out of there and although you know you didn't do it, you'd feel and look totally guilty.